we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize