i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize