I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I just want to make out with him forever
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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