I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Randomize
