Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
