I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Randomize
