yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
