Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
