We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I could fuck to npr.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Randomize
