After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize
