If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
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