Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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