so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Randomize
