I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
