and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
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