There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
