I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Blood and glitter go together right?
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
