hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Randomize
