I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
