normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
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