I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I could fuck to npr.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
