I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Randomize
