No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
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