umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
our cab driver is having phone sex.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I'm just crazy horny about you
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Randomize
