Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
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