They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
