idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
