We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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