you guys were way drunker than both of me
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
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