At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
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