come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Randomize
