I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
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