Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
