So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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