Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
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