I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
