I'm sorry my penis didn't work
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
