Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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