it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Randomize
