My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
Dude, I woke up at my ex's house. I am spooning her half naked roommate. There is a pizza on my shoulder. I need you to come pick me up.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
