You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
I'm really busy with my period
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