lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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