There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize