his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
