He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
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