So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
