i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Randomize
