I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
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