Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
