He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Randomize
