i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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