i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
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