Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Randomize
