i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize