I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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