Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Randomize
