I hate all girls vehemently.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
