i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
