I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Randomize
